Starting a blog is something I've always wanted to do, and something I've actually done many times.
As an adolescent, I would build my own websites with Yahoo, posting pictures of me and my friends on bright backgrounds of mixed berries or contrasted coffee beans. I would write about my thoughts and feelings, my likes and dislikes. I even had a blog showcasing all of my very dark, slightly morbid, 12-year-old poetry. I shared these pages with my online friends, but rarely with people who had actually met me.
As I got older, I started a few food blogs, sharing recipes I had made from books or written myself. My husband and I laugh now, because there was a time early in our marriage when all I wanted to do was get my food pictures posted on Foodgawker. That was the ultimate idea of success in my mind. I took so many pictures and applied so many times, but sadly the website rejected my photos every. single. time. I shared my food blogs with my closest friends, and, even though I wanted to be on the super popular recipe site, I always said to my friends, "Please don't show anyone else!!!"
I started my last blog two and a half years ago - about trauma recovery. After a completely life-changing/life-shattering experience, I turned to writing to express myself and share my story. This is when I chose the name Peace of Holly - recording my journey was one of the only ways I knew how to find peace at the time. The blog only lasted a few short posts, as I got pregnant soon after and then focused all of my energy inward.
You see, I've always wanted to share my stories, photos and recipes - but I've always been incredibly scared of being criticized. What if people don't like me? Worse yet, what if they don't like me and they actually tell me they don't like me? What if my recipes flop for them? I've always been incredibly scared to be seen as anything less than perfect, and I've always wanted everyone to like me. What would happen if people saw I'm just an every day, not-so-perfect girl?
But the Universe has much bigger plans for me than self-doubt. It's taken A LOT of self care and inner work to get here - to get past the shame, vulnerability and perfectionism, and turn these things into grace and love. And it hasn't come easily.
One of my wishes for this blog is to be real with you - real with where I'm coming from and real with where I'm at. I plan to share real food recipes and tips for natural living, but I also want to share little posts like this, ones that reveal a little piece of my heart.
So here we go! Cheers to Post #1!
And in the words of my beloved therapist and dear friend, "What a f**kin' ride!"